Some Things Happy Couples Always Do Before Bed

"I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex, it can severely damage the connection in a relationship."

Routines get a bad rep when it comes to romance. (Cue images of eating dinner in front of the TV and passing out before you can even think about getting frisky.) But that's not necessarily the case. Plenty of happy couples will tell you that routine isn't the enemy—in fact, establishing a nightly habit can help strengthen your bond and make you even happier. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the secret to staying out of a relationship rut might actually be to establish a daily routine.
To dig a little deeper, we asked real women about the evening habits that help keep their relationships going strong. Their tried-and-true nightly activities are just a few examples of one or two things you can do to strengthen your own relationship. The benefits may surprise you.
1. Treat each other.
“Almost every night, we have ice cream or frozen yogurt treats. It's a little thing to see who volunteers to go downstairs and to the back of our big old house to the freezer to get them each night. Partway through whatever we’re watching that evening, one of us will ask, ‘Did you say something about popsicles?’ and the other will make the trek downstairs to the freezer where we keep a stock of frozen treats, and grab a surprise for the other. We settle in on the couch with our popsicles and our pups and just enjoy the downtime together. After 20 years of marriage, it's as much about the everyday tiny things as it is the grand gestures—if not more so!" —Dana, M., married 20 years
2. Take a stroll.
"We normally spend all our evenings together. We both work at home and a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood is a good end to the work day and start to the evening." —Linda M., married 16 years
3. Get it on.
“If we've gone more than a week without having sex, we both make a point to make time for that. I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex (like more than two to three weeks unless you physically can’t, due to illness or being apart) it can severely damage the connection in a relationship. Even when I couldn't have vaginal intercourse after giving birth, I think we probably waited only two to three weeks and then, let's just say, we got creative with non-vaginal sex...” —Kaitlin S., married six years
4. Spend quality time in the kitchen.
“Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks. When one of us gets home, the other always fixes the other a drink (usually not alcoholic, could just be sparkling water with lemon!) and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.” —Ashley W., married two years
5. Turn TV time into together time.
“Our weekday evening habits are to watch the evening news with a plate of olives and other noshes then have dinner. Afterward, we watch TV. I love our binges! It still feels like a real treat to sit and watch and snuggle.” —Lisa D., married six years
6. Make time together a “chore.”
“When schedules get busy and we are coming home and eating at different times, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of launching into tasks. These bills need to get paid, this mail needs to get sorted, these dishes need to be washed. We try to make sure that some together time is also on the agenda.” —Naomi N., married six months
7. Make pillow talk more meaningful.
“At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for. We also sleep holding hands.” —Echo G., married 35 years
8. Tuck each other in.
“We usually go to bed at the same time, but on the nights we don't, the person staying up always tucks the other in. It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. It helps us connect—especially when we’re both swamped with work. —Kelli B., married one year
9. Schedule a regular night out.
“I never really understood the concept of having regular "date nights" after marriage, but now I totally get it! Going out really encourages conversation and forces you to relax and just spend time together in a way you don't when you're sitting around at home. I love having dinner at home with my husband, but there's a huge difference between eating and then quickly getting up to do the dishes and clean up as compared to just enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant. I think doing fun things together is a great way to keep your marriage enjoyable and healthy.” —Zara H., married one year

7 Ways to Make Sex Even Better

Strengthen your relationship with these bedroom bonding tips

It's no myth that sex, whether kinky or romantic, is a powerful way to increase intimacy with your partner.
Even science says so. During sex, your brain floods your body with hormones and neurochemicals, especially oxytocin, which is best known as the "love hormone"—and with good reason. Oxytocin decreases feelings of stress and dramatically increases feelings of trust, security, bonding, and love, says California-based couples therapist Mary Kay Cocharo, L.M.F.T.
Skin to skin touching triggers the release of these hormones, making stripping down with your partner one of the quickest and easiest ways to deepen your relationship. Want to take things a step further? Here are seven simple—and sexy—things that will make your next romp more intimate.
Be vocal.
Keeping quiet during sex means you’re missing out on an opportunity to build your bond with your partner. Tell them what feels good and what doesn't—and vocalize the pleasure you're experiencing, Cocharo says. “Whether it's through words or moans and groans, you want to show that you're in the present moment with each other.”
Breathe deeply.
Breathing deeply communicates pleasure and doing so in tandem with your partner can help heighten arousal, Cocharo explains. “In tantric sex, we teach people to breathe together to create more connection and more eroticism.”
Unplug.
Avoid distractions at all costs. Make sure the television is off and your phone is silent—your texts and voicemails can wait. During sex, you and your partner should be solely focused on each other, says Cocharo. If you're not, you're missing out on an opportunity to bond, or even worse, you risk offending your partner.
Remove pets from the bedroom.
A lot of people sleep with their pets in their bed, but it can be a major buzzkill to have your dog or cat staring at you while you have sex. Not to mention, really awkward.
“If you're trying to look into your partner's eyes and you glance over, and your dog's looking into your eyes, it kind of breaks the mood,” Cocharo points out.
Snuggle with your pets later.
Make your bedroom a work-free zone.
You sleep in your bedroom, and you have sex in your bedroom. It's not, however, a place to do work, pay bills, or talk on the phone, says Cocharo. She suggests removing computers and charging your cellphone overnight somewhere else. They will only distract you from paying attention to your partner.
Open your eyes.
Try focusing on making eye contact next time you're in bed. “There is neuroscience that shows that when two people gaze into each other's eyes, at a close distance—say 18 or 20 inches—that the reactive part of the brain, the limbic brain, calms and allows people to experience a deeper connection,” Cocharo explains.
Just be conscious about breaking that stare if it starts to feel awkward. You don't want to kill the vibe by bordering on creepy.
Plan a romantic evening.
Let's put it like this: Not every meal needs to be a five-course dinner. A quick burger can really hit the spot sometimes, but too much fast food is never a good thing, either.
During sex, not every romp needs to be quick and intense, sometimes you need to slow down and savor the intimate moments, too. That takes time and requires some planning on your part, Cocharo says. So make sure you carve out time for foreplay and set the mood—she'll notice the effort.

Sex And Sleep Will Make You Happier Than Money Ever Could

A new study has found that making more money has very little effect on overall happiness

Ever think that you'd be so much happier if you were the guy driving down the street in a car that costs as much as someone's house? Turns out, if you're getting quality Zs and have a happy sex life, you're the one winning, man. A new study has found the top indicators of happiness, and money doesn't even hit the top five.
The study conducted by researchers from Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research in Great Britain, asked 8,250 people of varying backgrounds to fill out a 60-question survey to determine what it means to "live well." The questions covered everything — from the state of an individual's sleep quality, finances, and job security to their relationships with friends, family and their community. And the results? They weren't what you'd expect.
The result was the creation of the Sainsbury’s Living Well Index, which generated a list of the top factors that separated the happiest 20 percent from everyone else. In order of biggest influence, sleep quality, sex life, job security, health of close relatives and chatting to neighbors were the top five factors that determined who was actually living well.
Some of these results should come as little surprise, since we already know how a bad sleep schedule affects your health, but the fact that money doesn't rank at the top of the list might. In fact, according to Metro, researchers found that those who had good sleep and a sex life they were satisfied with (no, that doesn't mean loads of sex; although tantra might help) had higher "living well" scores than those people with a high income.
The study found that income had very little impact on a person's perception of well-being. In fact, a 50 percent increase in disposable income only led to a miniscule increase in a person's "living well" score.
That's not to say we should all just quit our jobs to have sex and sleep all day. Being unemployed, suffering from problems with physical and mental health, and lacking a strong support network were the top three factors that separated those who were struggling from feeling like they were living well. So while income may not be important, job security certainly is.
So what does that mean for you? Granted, this research was done on people living in Great Britain, but the country bears many similarities to ours. Bottom line, if you want to be happier, it's time to buddy up with that bed in more ways than one and give those relationships in your life some much-needed attention.
If sleep is your problem, check out these 5 strategies to get some quality z's. If it's your sex life, here are the most common sex problems couples run into— and how to solve them. And if it's your job, don't worry: You can still land the career of your dreams.

Meet the Sex Witch Who Wants to Use Magic to Enhance Your Orgasm

The former exotic dancer wants to help you find a deeper, sexual connection

They say that the bedroom is where the magic happens, but one woman named Shaney Marie is trying to bring literal meaning to that old saying by using spells and other pagan rituals to unlock a better sexual experience, the Mirror reports. After working as an exotic dancer for years, Marie is now exploring the art of witchcraft and its applications in our sex lives. The Melbourne, Australia, "priestess" serves as a sexual guru to a wide range of clientele who are apparently seeking greater fulfillment and better orgasms in their intimate lives.
Marie, who identifies as not only pansexual but also eco-sexual, made the professional pivot due to feelings of disillusionment she experienced while working in a strip club.
"Modern strip clubs are a power play," she told the Mirror. "Men objectify women, but women objectify them with their wallets. It is no longer a place of love and there is not a lot of respect on either side of the sexes. I decided to return to the older roots and bring on an awakening."
By bringing us back to a more natural, intimate approach, Marie hopes to reconnect us with our more erotic selves. How, exactly, will she nurture those identities, though? Erotic dancing, sex toys, crystals, and prayers at "love-altars.""Sex witchery involves using ancient pagan ways of being to unlock greater pleasure pathways," she explained. "Spell crafting can involve boosting pleasure. It is is one of the most powerful forces you can experience."
Though she's only offering her services in Australia at the moment, Marie reportedly plans to visit Amsterdam, London, Berlin, and Ireland in the near future. However, if you're geographically locked-out from meeting her in person, she apparently also offers Skype consultations, as well. If you take Marie at her word, it sounds like you'll start believing in magic in no time.

10 New Places to Have Sex

Ditch the bedroom and try something a little more exotic

If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America, the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the best places to fool around.
On the Washer
Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.
In the Vault
To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.
At Victoria's Secret
The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to make sure you like what your girlfriend is trying on.
In a Beanbag Chair
You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways you're not accustomed to. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).
During Christmas at the In-Laws
Bring the kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.
A '57 Chevy
That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.
A Large Swiss Ball
The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.
A National Park
If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.
The Elevator
Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.
The Garage
At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more beer, then slip out the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20 minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone coming.

4 Places You Shouldn’t Touch During Sex

Unless you want it to stop, that is

Great sex is all about spontaneity and exploration—assuming, of course, you have her consent—but there are a few parts of her body you shouldn’t touch willy-nilly.
Here are four such spots you’re better off avoiding.
Her Cervix
If you reach her cervix during sex, recognize that something is wrong. Remember, this is the narrow canal that connects the vagina to the uterus—where babies grow. That isn’t a place you want to go, so don’t knock on the door.
For starters, it’s painful for her to have something rammed against her cervix, and it could be a sign that you need to shift for a position with shallower penetration.But it could also mean that she isn’t warmed up enough. Her uterus will actually “lift” upwards when she’s sexually aroused, making her vaginal cavity a few inches deeper than when she isn’t turned on.
So don’t skimp on foreplay, and don’t service her cervix.
The Head Of Her Clitoris
This might seem counterintuitive, but the clitoris—which is full of super sensitive nerve endings—can sometimes feel too intense when it’s stimulated directly. Touching the clitoris head-on, especially if she’s really aroused, can feel too severe.Think about that feeling when you gulp an ice-cold beverage and your teeth start to tingle—it’s just not pleasant. Instead, try going for the shaft of her clitoris or rubbing circles around it, which will engage the nerve endings without overstimulating her.
We won’t tell you to never touch her there, but it’s worth checking in with your partner to see if she has a sensitive C-spot.
Her Feet
Especially if she’s sporting socks. A study from Johns Hopkins University showed that wearing socks in the sack can increase orgasm potential, for both men and women.
One potential reason: In order to orgasm, women need to be totally relaxed and anxiety-free, and cold feet can interfere with their ability to really get into sex.
Though we usually recommend knocking her socks off, leave them on this time.
Her Anus
Unless you’re all lubed-up, that is. Anal play can take plenty of warming up, but even when she’s totally aroused and ready to get it on, nothing should go in there without a generous helping of lubricant. The anal opening is small enough that even a finger can feel uncomfortable.While you’ve got the KY bottle handy, you should probably go ahead and use it for all other acts. A study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women rate their sexual satisfaction much higher when lube is involved.

7 Places She Wants You to Kiss—Besides Her Lips

There’s a lot more to explore than just her mouth

Her luscious lips are hard to resist, but she can tire of make-out sessions.
“Women like kissing because it is an emotionally intimate act,” says Jill Weber, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy.
So if you want to get closer as a couple, get out of the habit of attacking her mouth and lay romantic lip caresses on her most sensitive areas. 
NAPE OF THE NECK
You know she likes you to start at her neck—there’s a certain vulnerability that drives her wild.
“Lift her hair if it’s long and kiss and gently nibble the area from the hairline right down to the collar bone. It’s sure to produce goose bumps every time,” says Jennifer Landa, M.D., and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
SMALL OF THE BACK
“This is where all the nerves for the genitals originate, so stimulation of the lower back with massage and kissing and nibbling is a great way to stimulate the area,” says Dr. Landa.It’s also why she loves it when you place your hand on the small of her back when you’re out together—it’s an intimate, sexy gesture that makes a woman feel hot without it seeming out of the ordinary, she says.
FOREHEAD
You may not find a sweeter spot for her emotions than here. “What woman doesn’t want to get a loving kiss from a man who loves her brain? It’s a huge self-confidence builder, a soother, and a make-her-legs-weak, strong-man move,” says Walsh.
It might not be the thing to do in the bedroom—you’ll want to focus on other areas at that point—but she’ll appreciate when you pull her close and plant one on her head after a long day at work.
FINGERS
Fingertips have a huge concentration of nerve endings, making them sensitive to anything from little pecks to a long suck.
“When you suck and lick her fingers, she gets an idea of your oral skills and pictures what it might be like when you lick and suck her more intimate areas,” says Dr. Landa.
NIPPLES
“Sucking on her nipples releases the hormone oxytocin, called ‘the love hormone,’ because it makes people feel more bonded,” says Landa. “The nipples seem to have a hotline to the genitals, and for some women nipple stimulation will send an impulse right to her clitoris.”
Don’t forget you can score points by showing some love to the rest of her breast, too. Know these five facts about her breasts as well.
EARS
Her ears may be quite sensitive to light licking and sucking because of all the supersensitive nerve endings there. “Most women are quite sensitive to auditory stimulation,” says Landa. “So while you suck her ear be sure to use the opportunity to whisper something about how attracted you are to her and what you’d like to do to her after you finish nibbling her lobes.”
You can also try pursing your lips and blowing cool air to counteract the hot breath from your whispers.
CLITORIS
Once you land here, you’ve reached the point of no return. “There are over 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone, compared to a man’s mere 4,000 in the penis,” says Christine Milrod, Ph.D.