7 Places She Wants You to Kiss—Besides Her Lips

There’s a lot more to explore than just her mouth

Her luscious lips are hard to resist, but she can tire of make-out sessions.
“Women like kissing because it is an emotionally intimate act,” says Jill Weber, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy.
So if you want to get closer as a couple, get out of the habit of attacking her mouth and lay romantic lip caresses on her most sensitive areas. 
NAPE OF THE NECK
You know she likes you to start at her neck—there’s a certain vulnerability that drives her wild.
“Lift her hair if it’s long and kiss and gently nibble the area from the hairline right down to the collar bone. It’s sure to produce goose bumps every time,” says Jennifer Landa, M.D., and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
SMALL OF THE BACK
“This is where all the nerves for the genitals originate, so stimulation of the lower back with massage and kissing and nibbling is a great way to stimulate the area,” says Dr. Landa.It’s also why she loves it when you place your hand on the small of her back when you’re out together—it’s an intimate, sexy gesture that makes a woman feel hot without it seeming out of the ordinary, she says.
FOREHEAD
You may not find a sweeter spot for her emotions than here. “What woman doesn’t want to get a loving kiss from a man who loves her brain? It’s a huge self-confidence builder, a soother, and a make-her-legs-weak, strong-man move,” says Walsh.
It might not be the thing to do in the bedroom—you’ll want to focus on other areas at that point—but she’ll appreciate when you pull her close and plant one on her head after a long day at work.
FINGERS
Fingertips have a huge concentration of nerve endings, making them sensitive to anything from little pecks to a long suck.
“When you suck and lick her fingers, she gets an idea of your oral skills and pictures what it might be like when you lick and suck her more intimate areas,” says Dr. Landa.
NIPPLES
“Sucking on her nipples releases the hormone oxytocin, called ‘the love hormone,’ because it makes people feel more bonded,” says Landa. “The nipples seem to have a hotline to the genitals, and for some women nipple stimulation will send an impulse right to her clitoris.”
Don’t forget you can score points by showing some love to the rest of her breast, too. Know these five facts about her breasts as well.
EARS
Her ears may be quite sensitive to light licking and sucking because of all the supersensitive nerve endings there. “Most women are quite sensitive to auditory stimulation,” says Landa. “So while you suck her ear be sure to use the opportunity to whisper something about how attracted you are to her and what you’d like to do to her after you finish nibbling her lobes.”
You can also try pursing your lips and blowing cool air to counteract the hot breath from your whispers.
CLITORIS
Once you land here, you’ve reached the point of no return. “There are over 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone, compared to a man’s mere 4,000 in the penis,” says Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

8 Tricks to Make Your Orgasm Even BETTER

Kick your pleasure into overdrive with a few small tweaks 

If you learned a killer new workout that made your body feel incredible, you’d likely share it with your friends. But when it comes to sex, men aren’t as likely to trade tips. And that’s a shame.
So we’ll get the sharing party started: After chatting with sexologists and pouring over the latest, hottest research, we found these eight ways to take your orgasm to the next level.
1. Touch your taint.
If you haven’t already been introduced, meet your taint—or your perineum, if we’re getting technical. It’s the stretch of skin between your balls and your butt, and it’s a one-way ticket to Pleasuretown.
“This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Some guys say that by applying pressure to this area, they’re able to have multiple orgasms—which is probably because you can stimulate your prostate gland externally via your perineum.
During intercourse or oral sex, ask your partner to place a finger here and press onto it until the pressure feels just right.
2. Do kegels.
Take a tip out of her sex playbook.
“You know how women do kegel exercises and say it strengthens their vaginal orgasm? Men can do the same,” says Alex Robboy, CAS, MSW, a sex therapist in Philadelphia.
Essentially, kegel exercises are a way of contracting the muscles of the pelvic floor, which give you greater control and intensity during sex. Try lifting your penis up and down with your muscles, or even try to “write the alphabet with the tip of your penis,” suggests Robboy.
3. Hold back.
Delayed gratification can be hard to master, but when it comes to your orgasm, it’s well worth it.
A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research advocated “edging,” or the practice of purposefully delaying orgasm for a more intense climax. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful.
It’s an easy way to amp up your game: Bring yourself to the “edge” of your orgasm, slow down, pause, and then start back up again. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go.
4. Find your G-spot.
It turns out that men have an equivalent to the G-spot: the prostate. You can stimulate it externally by applying pressure to your perineum, but if you’re interested in maximizing pleasure—and you're feeling a little adventurous—you’ll have to do a little anal probing.
Have your partner lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. You’ll know the spot when you feel it: it’s a small, chestnut-sized lump that feels super sensitive. Once you get there, apply some pressure and light thrusting.
5. Boost your testosterone.
The manly hormone that helps you orgasm is the same one that your body produces when you root for your favorite sports team, lift weights at the gym, or watch Game of Thrones.
Research from Athens’ Military Hospital in Greece found that when you have more T in your bloodstream, you’re more likely to orgasm—and do it big. Before your next romp, try some testosterone-boosting activities like going for a run.
6. Stroke your sack.
Just before you ejaculate, your testicles rise up near your body to give more power to your ejaculation.
“If you press gently upward on the testicles just before ejaculation, it’s likely to be very arousing,” says Goldman.
Ask your partner to place the palm of her hand upward on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body. It’ll heighten your arousal and increase the intensity of your orgasm.
7. Focus on the physical.
Sometimes during sex, you’ll get lost in your head—thinking about how hot your partner is, pondering the best porn you’ve ever watched, or even thinking about what’s for dinner. For a better orgasm, return to your body.
Think about it like this: If you’re running, you’ll get a completely different workout if you’re letting your mind wander than if you’re completely concentrating on your form.
“Focus on the physical sensation,” recommends Robboy, and you’ll feel your body responding differently.
8. Just breathe.
“This comes from tantric sex, where you’re supposed to move the stroke with your breath,” says Goldman.
Zero in on your breath, and try to slow it down until it’s in tune with your thrusts.When you’re just about to come, you’ll notice your breathing naturally start to speed up—but keeping it slower will improve the amount of oxygen and blood flow that reaches your genitals, making your climax even stronger. 

How What You Say on a Date Makes You More Attractive

Intelligence and a good sense of humor can go a long way

When you’re getting ready for a date, you want to look perfect. The inner monologue doesn't stop running through your appearance: Is this shirt wrinkled? Is there anything in my teeth? The list goes on and on. It turns out, your looks aren't necessarily what make you the most attractive to the woman sitting across from you.
Recently, the dating app Plenty of Fish released the findings of Conversation Nation, the largest survey on the topic. More than 2,000 single participants whose ages ranged from 18 to 70 (Up to 70? Did sexagenarians really need to be included here?), and nine out of 10 people believed that a successful date hinged on good conversation.
The top reason conversation makes someone better looking? It’s way easier to be attracted to someone when you aren’t sitting in awkward silence or arguing about politics. Plus it gives you a chance to showcase three attributes women look for when choosing an ideal mate: intelligence, a sexy voice, and a good sense of humor.
Understandably, you’re less likely to find someone attractive if a conversation was completely awful. If you and your date have nothing in common, if they come across rude, or if they don’t share your same values, it’s definitely a turnoff, according to 85 percent of participants.
When it comes to planning a date, you can’t go wrong with suggesting drinks at a local bar or restaurant. And if everything is going well, don’t ruin it by doing something like checking your phone constantly, talking about your ex, or even going outside to take smoke breaks. The survey shows that these actions—especially ignoring your date in favor of texting your buddies—are seen as disruptive and distracting.
If the date went well, call your date to let them know you enjoyed it. More than 80 percent of singles surveyed agree that a phone call constitutes a conversation, and it’s another opportunity to impress them with your communication skills.

11 Fitness Myths That Are Totally False

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the conflicting health and fitness advice out there. One day low-fat diets are in; the next day we learn that healthy fats can help you lose weight. I’ve seen fitness equipment come in and out of “style” faster than you can say “shake weight!” (Remember those??)

We’re constantly being told contradictory pieces of advice on what to eat, how to workout, and what to do each day to stay healthy. In my 25 years in the fitness industry, I’ve seen plenty of trends come and go, from fad diets to wacky workout techniques and everything in between. I know what works long-term, and what doesn’t. Here are 11 commonly-spread fitness myths that are totally false. Feel free to let these myths go the way of Snackwells and Fat-Jiggling machines and leave them behind!
1. Working out on an empty stomach helps you lose weight
If you prefer waking up and getting a quick workout in without eating anything, it won’t necessarily hurt you. But working out on an empty stomach doesn’t exactly help you burn more fat. Why? When you exercise, your body uses energy from two places: fat and glycogen stores. When you exercise in a fasted state, you go into your workout with depleted glycogen levels, which causes your body to not only burn fat but also start to break down muscle tissue and convert it to carbohydrate for energy. This means you’re losing muscle, which is not good. Your metabolism actually slows down to conserve energy in this state, telling your body to store more fat at your next meal. If you want your metabolism to work well all day long without losing muscle, eat a little something before workouts longer than 30 minutes. A banana or smoothie are great options.
2. Lifting heavy weights makes you bulk up
So many women tell me they’re afraid to use heavy weights because they don’t want to “bulk up.” Not to be cheeky, but you’re probably not going to achieve bodybuilder status unless you’re consuming massive amounts of protein; most women simply do not have the type of testosterone to create that huge, muscle-bound look. Heavy weights are GOOD! They help you put on lean muscle, which isn’t bulky, it’s actually what contributes to the “toned” appearance most of us are after. Plus, the more muscle you have, the more fat you’ll burn throughout the day because muscle is the key to a boosting your metabolism. Doing more repetitions with lighter weights is still good—but for muscle endurance. Doing fewer repetitions with heavier weights is how you achieve muscle strength, which helps you not only do more but also contributes to a lean, toned appearance. In other words, lifting heavy will just make you stronger—not bigger.
3. You need a low-carb diet to lose weight
Contrary to popular belief, carbs are not necessarily your enemy when trying to lose weight or eat healthy. There are complex carbs, like vegetables, fruit, legumes, and whole grains—these are generally considered healthy. And then there are “simple” or “refined” carbs, which include white pasta, white bread, pastries, sugar-sweetened beverages, and more. Simple carbs often have added sugars and can trigger blood sugar spikes. Complex carbs usually contain fiber and other nutrients that don’t cause the same spikes and dips. Complex carbs can absolutely be part of a healthy diet: just avoid those simple carbs whenever possible, like white pasta, white bread, etc. But quinoa, veggies, beans, brown rice, whole grain bread, and more can all be part of a balanced diet.
4. Muscle weighs more than fat
I hear this one a lot, but simply put: a pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same. The only difference is how they appear. A pound of muscle looks lean and dense; a pound of fat is airy like cotton candy and takes up more space. In fact, a pound of lean muscle takes up about 20% less space than a pound of fat. This is why if you’ve started working out and strength training, you might notice you look smaller and your clothes fit better, but the number on the scale isn’t decreasing that dramatically. Don’t panic! You’re still successful!
5. Crunches are the key to flat abs
If you hate doing crunches, don’t fret—they’re not the only step in getting a lean tummy. First, you need to lose any excess weight that’s covering up your abs. (Simply put: you can’t see your six pack if it’s buried beneath extra fat.) Since you can’t spot-reduce body fat, this means losing weight all over. Second, you need to tone that area using a variety of abdominal exercises that target different core muscles. You can target the abs with crunches or crunch variations (I like froggy crunches or bird dog crunches if traditional crunches bug you); target the obliques with oblique burners or side plank scoops; and focus on the transverse abdominus with moves like the Pilates 100. Getting “flat abs” is actually about losing extra body fat and strengthening and toning the entire core—not just mindlessly repeating one exercise.
6. Squats will make your butt big
Squats are one of the best bodyweight exercises around; they work your glutes and legs and can be done anytime, anywhere. But contrary to popular belief, they won’t make your butt look huge! Squats alone are not going to make your butt appear “bulky;” it’s likely your diet choices or a sedentary lifestyle that contributes to anything appearing larger than you want it to.
7. You need at least 30 minutes to get a solid workout
I see this myth prevent a lot of people from getting their workout in for the day. Many people think that if they don’t have 30-60 minutes to work out, they don’t have enough time to burn calories, build muscles, or see results—so they skip a workout altogether. Here’s what I have to say to that: a quick workout is always better than no workout! Living a healthy, active life is about incorporating movement into your day whenever possible. If you’re working at a moderate to high intensity you can burn roughly 100 calories every 10 minutes. 10 minutes is enough to burn fat, build muscle, and give your metabolism a boost that helps you throughout the rest of your day.
8. You have to train in the morning
I am a proponent of morning workouts because I think it feels good to get them done first thing—BUT, that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit! A calorie burned at 6 am is the same as a calorie burned at 6pm. Find out what workout time is best for you and your busy schedule, and know that it doesn’t always have to be the same. Some days you may be able to wake up a little earlier and get your workout done, and other days you may want to do it after work to unwind. Do what’s best for you, your body, and your schedule.
9. Heated workouts help you burn more fat
I’ve heard people claim that “you have to sweat to burn fat.” NOT true! Yes, you’ll sweat more in a hot yoga class because it’s also humid, and the sweat isn’t evaporating off your body. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re burning more fat. If it was cold and dry, more of your sweat would be evaporating off your body. More importantly, some people just naturally sweat more than others. Measure your workout intensity in other ways; by your ability to carry on a conversation (if you’re working at a moderate to high intensity, most people can only say a few words at a time,) how heavy you’re breathing, and how hard your heart is working. People can sweat more or less depending on so many factors—it’s not the best way to gauge how hard you’re actually working.
10. Long and slow is the way to burn more calories
There’s a lot of confusion about the “fat burning zone.” People claim that slow, steady-state cardio gets you into the fat burning zone and helps you burn more fat. Here’s the thing: yes, your body does use more fat as fuel during lower intensity exercise, but you are also burning calories at a slower rate. You’d have to be doing that steady state cardio for a long time to burn as many calories as you would during a shorter, higher intensity workout. You need to pump up the intensity if you want to bur more calories and fat. Mix up your weekly routine with steady state cardio and high intensity interval training.
11. Pregnant women shouldn’t work out
Not only is it usually considered safe to exercise while pregnant, it’s beneficial to you and your baby. Complications and specific circumstances aside, doctors recommend that pregnant women get 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise most days of the week. It’s been shown to help keep you and your baby healthier; you lower your risk of gestational diabetes, heart issues, and pre-natal depression, and your baby has a lower risk of high blood pressure and a healthier heart, even as an adult. It’s also been shown that women who exercise during pregnancy reported shorter, less complicated deliveries. Sold!

7 Ways to Last Longer In Bed

Thwart premature ejaculation with these pro tips for better sex and a stronger orgasm

You’ve tried crunching baseball stats. You’ve mentally replayed your last round of golf. You’ve outlined the steps to making your favorite sandwich. But the more you try to last longer in bed, the faster you finish—and you’re not alone.
“Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” says Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington.
Dr. Walsh says there are primarily two methods if you want to last longer in bed: physical and psychological treatments. While physical remedies target the sensations you feel during sex, psychological solutions address your worry, stress, or other mental factors that may explain your quick trigger, Dr. Walsh explains.
Just remember that duration isn’t the most important part of the formula for avoiding premature ejaculation and having great sex. (Neither are accessories, but these 30 Best Sex Toys can help you enjoy your time together.)
Here, Dr. Walsh and other experts break down a few of the most helpful techniques for dealing with premature ejaculation (PE).
But be warned: Dr. Walsh recommends trying these out on your own before attempting them during sex.
1. Biofeedback
In general terms, this refers to the idea that you can regulate your own neurophysiology—or the way your body responds to physical sensations, Dr. Walsh explains.
While there are a lot of different types of biofeedback, he says one of the most common for avoiding premature ejaculation is to bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm before stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you have your excitement under control.
Also known as “edging”—one of the 5 Off-Beat Sex Trends to Try—practicing this technique can help you teach your brain and body to better control your orgasm response, adds sex therapist Emily Morse, Ph.D.
2. The Squeeze
If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis, advises Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
The squeeze technique can help you last longer in bed by pushing blood out of the penis and momentarily decreasing sexual tension, which represses the ejaculatory response, Kerner says.
“This is another type of biofeedback, similar to edging.” Dr. Walsh adds.
3. Ladies First
When you help her finish first—whether with your mouth, your fingers, or a toy—knowing she’s enjoyed an orgasm may relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling to last longer in bed, Kerner says.
4. De-Sensitizers
Like the stuff dentists slather on your gums before jamming in the needle, there are topical sprays called “local anesthetics” that you can apply to your penis to lessen the sensation and avoid premature ejaculation, Dr. Walsh says. “When used properly, you can adjust the amount of desensitization with these sprays, and it won’t transfer to your partner,” he adds.
He says some of his patients have had luck with a product called Promescent. (Dr. Walsh is in no way affiliated with the company that makes this product.)
But be warned: The lack of sensation could make it difficult for you to stay erect during sex, he says.
5. Condom Control
Most major condom manufacturers make extra-thick rubbers that act like a slip-on desensitizer for your member during sex, Morse says, and these can help you avoid premature ejaculation.
Look for marketing lingo like “extended pleasure” (from Trojan) or “performax” (Durex), which are fancy terms for this thicker style of condom.
6. Pills
Plenty of men pop a pill to become erect for sex. And in Europe, there are also legal drugs that can help you last longer in bed, Dr. Walsh says.
The problem: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) hasn’t approved those drugs to treat PE in the U.S. Why?
“Even though trials show these drugs genuinely benefitted men with premature ejaculation, the FDA sets a very high bar for drugs used to treat non-life threatening conditions,” Dr. Walsh explains.
While you could take these drugs for “off-label” uses like the treatment of premature ejaculation, most of these meds are antidepressants that could lead to mood changes or other side effects—meaning they shouldn’t be used unless your performance problem is seriously affecting your life, Dr. Walsh says. He advises talking to your doctor to discuss this option.
7. Ask an Expert
If you feel like you’ve tried everything to have better sex without success, it may be time to discuss your problem with a sexual dysfunction specialist, Dr. Walsh says.
“A lot of the treatments we’ve already discussed—edging and biofeedback—are pretty challenging techniques that a specialist can help you use effectively.”
He recommends asking your doctor for a referral to a urologist, who can either treat you himself or refer you to the right person for your problem.
“He or she will help you approach this practically and pragmatically,” Dr. Walsh says, adding, “It’s not about getting in touch with your inner self. It’s about learning the physical or mental mechanisms that can help you avoid premature ejaculation.”

15 Ways to Get a Closed-Off Person to Open Up

You’ve heard it said many times that communication is crucial for good relationships. Few people would disagree that open, honest communication is important—but that doesn’t mean everyone is willing or able to talk effectively.

So what happens when your friend or love isn’t open and you’re having trouble coaxing the words out? Try these strategies:
1. If this person is a clam, don’t be a crowbar. In other words, prying someone open usually doesn’t work. It will get you nowhere to demand, plead, or threaten. A gentler approach will get you much further.
2. Realize that for many people, being open is scary. Closed-off people are convinced that being vulnerable invites judgment or rejection.
3. Create a safe environment. Getting someone to open up has everything to do with that person feeling safe and secure.
4. Understand that some closed-off people have hidden wounds. A difficult upbringing or past romantic disasters may have contributed to the fear of being open.
5. Recognize that everyone is wired differently. Each person falls somewhere on the continuum of extrovert and introvert, guarded and transparent. This doesn’t mean that someone naturally closed off can’t learn to open up—but it helps for you to understand that person’s basic temperament.
6. Be an ally, not an adversary. It can be frustrating when someone you love refuses to open up to you. Don’t let frustration become another barrier.
7. Express what openness means to you. Say something like, “Our relationship is so important to me. I want to us to have the closest relationship possible.”
8. Take time for togetherness. Many people need time—lots of it—to feel the freedom to open up.
9. Know that nagging will get you nowhere. When we see someone we love struggling to open up, we want to help—and that desire to help can sometimes cause us to nag and nudge. Doing so will only leave you both frustrated.
10. Set the tone. Make sure the context and conditions are right for open communication.
11. Emphasize empathy. Convey to this person that you “get” what he’s saying and you identify with his feelings.
12. Be a “role model.” Verbalize your own thoughts and feelings, and then allow plenty of space for them to do the same.
13. Accentuate affirmation. Any time he or she makes the effort to be transparent with you, make sure you convey how much you appreciate it.
14. Meet halfway. It’s not realistic or fair to expect anyone to immediately move from closed to totally open. Be satisfied with small steps forward.
15. Employ all of your listening skills. No one is going to be open with you unless he knows he has your full and undivided attention.

So You’ve Been Cheated On. Here’s How to Repair Your Relationship

Taking these important steps can increase the odds of success

The moment you find out your partner has been cheating on you, just about everything changes. Trust has been broken, and it may be difficult to imagine a future knowing that your closest companion has been intimate with someone else. So where do you go from here?
Heading to divorce court is certainly one route, but you shouldn't assume it's the only option or the best one for you: Statistics vary, but research shows that a sizable percentage of marriages manage to survive infidelity."Couples can heal from affairs," says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a relationship expert and the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, a global initiative to keep couples together and happy. He discourages couples from immediately separating or filing for divorce—provided you're both on board. “Either you want the marriage to work or you don’t.”
Here's what you should know if you find yourself in that exact situation.
STEP 1: MAKE SURE THE AFFAIR ENDS IMMEDIATELY
One of the very first things to do is to determine whether your partner is willing to immediately dissolve the outside relationship. “Stopping the affair is non-negotiable,” said Jill Murray, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist based in California. “The person with whom the partner was having the affair with can no longer be in their lives, even in a peripheral way."If that means changing jobs, switching gyms, or even relocating a new city, it has to happen. It's the only way to ensure that your partner is 100 percent committed to moving on, says Murray. After that commitment is made, it’s time to figure out what went wrong and why.
STEP 2: TALK IT OUT
Ideally, decide on a time when you can sit down together and have what's bound to be a difficult conversation. It's often best not to have this conversation the same day you learned about the affair, but rather to postpone it at least a few days, if not longer.
“Set aside time in the future so you will both be mentally ready to share and hear these uncomfortable details,” says Slatkin. “The betrayed should come ready to ask about whatever information they need to have so that all doubts can be removed, and they can start getting over the affair.” Craig Foust, a marriage counselor based in St. Louis, Missouri, says it's also important to get to the root of why the infidelity happened.
“The person cheated on may continually ask questions that seem repetitive, however, the core of the issue to be explored is when/how did the distance in the relationship [between you and your spouse] develop,” says Foust. “When did we start to have problems? What were the signs? Were both of us aware of the distance growing between us? Answering these questions will be critical.”
STEP 3: ENLIST PROFESSIONAL HELP
Infidelity is a pretty serious issue for a couple to contend with on their own. If keeping your marriage intact is a priority, Foust recommends seeking out a marriage counselor who can guide you through the process.
"It's no different than seeing a physical therapist for a leg injury: You may be able to walk on it, but you can cause lasting damage if it is not allowed to heal properly," says Foust. "The same goes with healing after an affair. The average couple may be able to stabilize their marriage, but often there are deep-rooted marital issues that only become noticeable over time or to an outsider looking in."
STEP 4: CARVE OUT QUALITY TIME
After you've had the tough talks and both agreed that you're going to stick this out, it's time to work on rekindling your connection. It won't be easy to do, especially in the beginning, but it's crucial to bouncing back as quickly as possible. “Spending quality time together shows investment in the relationship, from both sides, and helps to re-establish some type of normalcy,” says Foust.While it might be a challenge to find mutually agreeable activities when things are feeling so rocky, Suzanne Coburn, a licensed professional counselor, says you need to at least try to have fun.
“A date night is one idea, but even better is an activity that builds relationships: Go for a hike, go bowling, walk in beautiful gardens, attend a sports event together. What did you enjoy doing together when you were first dating? Do that,” she says.
IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, KNOW WHEN IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY.
Many people have been successful at mending a relationship after an affair, and hopefully you'll be among them. But sometimes the wounds are just too deep for that to be possible. In other instances, both parties aren't truly committed to making it work, and that's another deal-breaker.
If you're having trouble getting past infidelity, Murray suggests taking a step back to assess whether your spouse is actually empathizing with your feelings or is intent that you should "get over it."
“If the person is backsliding into old, secretive, or lying behavior, or there’s just too much anger and hurt to recover from, it may be time to call it quits,” she says.