Be a better lover tonight

 We scoured the latest studies, grilled dozens of experts, and polled more than 700 women to come up with this enlightening list of 12 rules guaranteed to make you a better lover—tonight.

By turning her fantasies into reality, she'll be more likely to agree to act out your wildest sex dreams.And she'll want sex more often, so things will only get better every time you get naked with her.
1. Greater Focus Leads to Hotter Sex
What's the best way to unlock a woman's wildest desires in bed?
"Passion," said 42 percent of the women we surveyed.
"That means being in the moment and not being distracted," says Joel Block, Ph. D., a Long Island-based psychologist and the author of Secrets of Better Sex. "Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry."
A woman takes attendance during sex in many ways, and the strongest signal you can send comes from your mouth. More than 90 percent of women we surveyed said a man's primal panting turns them on.
But use words over Tarzan grunts, if you can.
"You want to reassure her, 'Do that more,' 'That feels so good,' or 'Oh, I love that,' " says Logan Levkoff, Ph. D., a New York City-based sexologist and the author of Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be. Beyond giving her a confidence boost, the extra sensory seduction intensifies the experience.
Nonverbal communication is important, too.
Bursts of eye contact, lip nibbles, and any other kind of physical or verbal communication shows her she's the one pushing your buttons, not some fantasy fembot in your head.
If the soulful eye lock's not for you, bury your face in her neck, run the tip of your tongue from her collarbone to her earlobe, and whisper why she's driving you crazy.
2. Foreplay Can Be the Main Event
"'Foreplay' is a terrible word becase it implies that it's leading to something more important," says sexuality counselor Beverly Whipple, Ph. D., R. N., a coauthor of The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. "You'll both have more fun if you think of it as sex play and make it about discovering and enjoying each other, not just reaching the finish line."
The women we surveyed agreed: Two in five said their last orgasm occurred during foreplay itself, not intercourse.
What's more, when asked to rank their partners' bedroom skills, the women's top two complaints were a lack of sexual creativity and subpar manual sex skills, in that order. Ouch.
Your move? Tell her you want to go three sack sessions sans penetration.
Ditching the same old script—foreplay, sex, cuddling—will help your creative instincts spring to life.
Bonus: Sexual novelty re-creates those early-relationship, take-me-now hormones, says psychiatrist Daniel Amen, M. D., the author of Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life.
3. Pleasure Isn't Satisfaction
The good news is you can give a woman both.
In a Kinsey Institute study, both women and men agreed that sex without condoms feels better—but women said using protection actually helps them feel more satisfied overall in the sack.
Even those using hormonal birth-control methods felt the effect: When they used condoms, they reported a 17.5 percent higher rate of overall satisfaction with their sex lives.
Why? This one's a no-brainer. When women worry less (say, about STDs), they enjoy themselves more.
Our pick for the condom that packs both pleasure and satisfaction: the Kimono MicroThin Ultra Lubricated . It's just 0.049 millimeters thick, about 20 percent thinner than others on the market, its makers claim.
4. "Gentle" Means More Than That
"That word is a woman's code telling you to be more sensitive to her cues," says Block. The more nerve-dense the hot spot is on a woman's body, the more careful your approach should be.
Clitoral contact in particular feels abrasive without a proper warmup, says Lou Paget, a sex educator and the author of How to Be a Great Lover.
If a woman yips or inhales suddenly when you go there—instead of purring or moaning—you've jumped the gun.
(For a step-by-step breakdown of how to bring her to orgasm with oral sex, check out How to Pleasure a Woman.)
Use indirect stimulation first, paying careful attention to her reactions as a guide.
The nerve-packed clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina (like a wishbone), which means you can massage it without direct pressure to the bud. Trace the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes or slow finger zigzags. (Don't forget lube.) Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass.
The combo of anticipation and indirect contact will bring her pleasure centers to life.
If she coos, you've found her sweet spot. If she fidgets or gasps, take a step back.
5. Climate Is Crucial For Climax
Egyptian cotton and dimmer switches can't hurt, but your love chamber's thermostat is just as important, according to Dutch sex researchers.
"At the beginning of our trials, only 50 percent of our female subjects were able to reach orgasm," says study author Gert Holstege, M. D., Ph. D., chairman of the center for uroneurology at the University of Groningen, in the Netherlands. "But we learned they were uncomfortable because they had cold feet. We gave them socks, and 80 percent reached orgasm."
The socks aren't the secret, though.
"The amygdala and prefrontal cortex—the brain areas responsible for anxiety, fear, and danger signals—strongly decrease their activation during orgasm," says Dr. Holstege. "A pleasant environment, which includes the room temperature, is an important part of making her feel safe, secure, and comfortable," he adds.
"Imagine the ideal day at the beach," says Tristan Taormino, director of Vivid Entertainment's porn series Chemistry. "You want it just warm enough that she's happy to shed a layer or two, but not so hot that you'll end up drenched once you exert yourself."
6. Positions Need a Purpose
"There's no need to be overly fancy during sex—the very best positions are the ones that focus on the clitoris," says Levkoff.
Want to amp up her pleasure without risking a hamstring cramp? Ditch the flesh pretzel for these modified standards.
They're all designed to boost stimulation to her clitoris, which has even more nerve endings than the head of your penis.
Missionary: Instead of in-and-out thrusting, "have her grind against you in circles," says sex expert Tracey Cox, author of Secrets of a Supersexpert. "Keep as much of the base of your penis in contact with her outer lips as possible." Another option: Place two or three pillows under her butt to lift it off the bed at an angle. You'll rub against her more when thrusting.
Girl on Top: Make a V with two fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down on either side of your penis as she rides you. "This will stimulate the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra—as well as add intensity for you," Cox says.
Doggy-Style: "Have her lift her butt up or spread out your legs to move down and touch the supersensitive vaginal wall," Cox says. Then reach around to play with her clitoris using your fingers. (Use a small vibrator for extra intensity.) For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, "keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast."
7. Club Orgasm Isn't "Members Only"
Only one in five women we surveyed said their last orgasm came during penetration. "Most younger women want their partners to slow down and use their hands and mouths more," explains Juliet Richters, Ph. D., an Australian sex researcher who surveyed more than 19,000 people for her book Doing It Down Under.
In her survey, more than 90 percent of women were able to reach orgasm when their partners used only oral and manual stimulation. Here's the rub: Fifty-two percent of the women we surveyed said they've made a guy stop because they were afraid of taking too long.So how can you be sure she's not letting you off easy? "Say 'I love doing this, I could do this all day. Are you sure you want me to stop?' " Whipple says.
If you're the one worried about 20-plus minutes of exhausting tongue-lapping, though, "don't go faster—it won't make her reach orgasm sooner," Cox says. "If anything, slow down. The gentler and slower and more consistent you are, the quicker she'll arrive."
Another option: Enlist help. A small vibrator on her clitoris and your moist lips everywhere else should do the job.
8. Don't End Quickies With "Thanks!"
Only half of all women can reach orgasm when sex lasts 10 minutes or less, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. "That means during a quickie, you'll probably finish and she won't," says Levkoff.
If she doesn't orgasm, make sure you'll have access to future rapid-fire sessions by saying, "Later tonight, it's going to be all about you."
Then follow through on that promise. Leave her hanging too many times, and she won't stick around for long.
9. The G-Spot Has Friends. Find Them
You're goal-oriented. Good.
But the G-spot and the clitoris aren't the only bull's-eyes.
"The most recent anatomical research suggests that the clitoris is perhaps better described as the 'clitoral complex,' where the vagina, urethra, and clitoris all function as a unit rather than as individual parts," explains Kinsey Institute researcher and Men's Health columnist Debby Herbenick, Ph. D.
Try working that clitoral complex by hitting multiple hot spots at once. Some researchers believe there's something called an A-spot, located far inside the vagina on the side closest to her belly button.
"Stroke this spot and she'll lubricate almost instantly," Cox says. "Put one lubed finger into her vagina as far as it will comfortably go. Use the whole length of your finger to explore the front wall of her vagina."
Now triple the sensation: Stick both index and middle finger inside her, and stick out your thumb like you're hitchhiking. It'll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both A-spot and G-spot simultaneously.
Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.
10. "Ready" Is All Relative
"Just because a woman is lubricated doesn't mean she's ready for sex," says Richters.
Your woman's real prime time comes once she reaches a phase of arousal called "uterine tenting."
It's just like it sounds: The uterus backs out of the way and the vagina grows in length by as much as an inch.
"You'll experience deeper penetration, and the vagina will provide an intense grip to the head of your penis," says Barbara Keesling, Ph. D., a lecturer on human sexuality at California State University at Fullerton and the author of Men in Bed. "The orgasms are incredible."
Keesling says the best position is the butterfly: "Have her lie on her back and pull her knees up to her shoulders, tilting her pelvis so her vagina points up almost to the ceiling," she says.Since tenting can take anywhere from 30 seconds to, well, forever, focus on synchronizing the stimulation between your penis and her outer lips before entering her.
Lie pressed against each other with your penis snug between her legs, allowing her to slide and rub against you while you use your hands and mouth elsewhere. The warm, slick, and firm contact will bring her to a boil in no time.
11. Want to Have Sex? Do the Dishes
"If a woman is distracted by anything—work, lack of sleep, chores, a fight she had with a friend—it can interfere with her arousal," says Whipple.
Seven in 10 women we surveyed said helping around the home was a turn-on, but men do only about 30 percent of the chores, according to the Council on Contemporary Families.
The women we surveyed said they'd be most grateful if you did the dishes, cooked dinner, and did the laundry, in that order.
Score bonus points: Don't brag.
12. Don't Make Orgasm Your Only Goal
Desperation sinks her sex drive: A 2008 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that stress about sexual performance significantly decreases female arousal.
"Whatever you do, don't look up and ask, 'Are you close?' or 'Did you come?'" Whipple says. "It's distracting, and it adds unnecessary pressure."
See if you're on the right track by asking questions such as, "Do you like that?" and "Should I keep doing that?" instead.
And if you're waiting for her to reach orgasm during penetration, it's sometimes better to finish first, rather than holding out for half an hour.
"Women don't have orgasms every time, and they know it's not necessarily their partner's fault," Whipple says.
So take turns, Levkoff says. "You can always go back and use your hands and fingers to please her, if she's still turned on."

The Good Girl’s Guide to Rough Sex

It's OK to take a risk.

Who doesn't love that scene featuring Brad and Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith?  You know, the one where they master the art of crazy-fierce sex. While it all looks hot AF on camera, you might be worried that things could get too out of hand (or just plain awkward) during an aggressive roll in the hay. But don't stress, here's what you need to know.
Why Rough Sex Can Be Super Hot
Obviously, true harm is not acceptable in sexual experiences, but we might feel compelled to conquer our partner or to be conquered. Though the term "predatory aggression" sounds a bit scary, it's actually a healthy form of aggression in sex. A man might feel so aroused by you that he wants to squeeze you and have his energy engulf you.
Each of us has a deep driving instinct to stay safe, so openly inviting someone to dominate us reduces our control over our own safety—which can make rough sex kind of a thrill. You can fuel intense passion with your partner by nudging each other to the edge of your comfort zones.
How to Keep Aggressive Sex in Check
To keep throw-me-down-tie-me-up sex from feeling too intimidating, try easing into it. Here are some guidelines to help you explore rough sex in a healthy way:
1. Build slowly. You can start with slightly risky behaviors and build on those as you cultivate trust with each other. Practice what you did a few more times with the same intensity. If you felt bad or closed off after the act, that's not good. Discuss what felt "off" and why.
2. Let your natural instincts lead the way. There's no need to sensor yourself. If either of you hurts the other's feelings, listen to each other, apologize, note that particular boundary, and get back to being as risky as you can.
3. Take a few chances. While respect and consent are critical, you'll need to push your comfort zone a little. Let your shared fantasies of finding the perfect aggression balance spark between you.
4. Let go and trust yourself. After talking about what you want, go for it! Trust your instincts and then ask for it.
5. Prepare for awkwardness. If you haven't practiced being aggressive, you'll almost certainly feel a little weird at first. But just be honest. No criticizing or shaming allowed.
6. Take turns. Practice yielding to your partner's aggressive dominance, and then lead with your own. Be sure to speak up if your partner oversteps the bounds. Likewise, ease up if your partner says you've gone too far. You can always return to aggressive play later.

Some Things Happy Couples Always Do Before Bed

"I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex, it can severely damage the connection in a relationship."

Routines get a bad rep when it comes to romance. (Cue images of eating dinner in front of the TV and passing out before you can even think about getting frisky.) But that's not necessarily the case. Plenty of happy couples will tell you that routine isn't the enemy—in fact, establishing a nightly habit can help strengthen your bond and make you even happier. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the secret to staying out of a relationship rut might actually be to establish a daily routine.
To dig a little deeper, we asked real women about the evening habits that help keep their relationships going strong. Their tried-and-true nightly activities are just a few examples of one or two things you can do to strengthen your own relationship. The benefits may surprise you.
1. Treat each other.
“Almost every night, we have ice cream or frozen yogurt treats. It's a little thing to see who volunteers to go downstairs and to the back of our big old house to the freezer to get them each night. Partway through whatever we’re watching that evening, one of us will ask, ‘Did you say something about popsicles?’ and the other will make the trek downstairs to the freezer where we keep a stock of frozen treats, and grab a surprise for the other. We settle in on the couch with our popsicles and our pups and just enjoy the downtime together. After 20 years of marriage, it's as much about the everyday tiny things as it is the grand gestures—if not more so!" —Dana, M., married 20 years
2. Take a stroll.
"We normally spend all our evenings together. We both work at home and a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood is a good end to the work day and start to the evening." —Linda M., married 16 years
3. Get it on.
“If we've gone more than a week without having sex, we both make a point to make time for that. I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex (like more than two to three weeks unless you physically can’t, due to illness or being apart) it can severely damage the connection in a relationship. Even when I couldn't have vaginal intercourse after giving birth, I think we probably waited only two to three weeks and then, let's just say, we got creative with non-vaginal sex...” —Kaitlin S., married six years
4. Spend quality time in the kitchen.
“Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks. When one of us gets home, the other always fixes the other a drink (usually not alcoholic, could just be sparkling water with lemon!) and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.” —Ashley W., married two years
5. Turn TV time into together time.
“Our weekday evening habits are to watch the evening news with a plate of olives and other noshes then have dinner. Afterward, we watch TV. I love our binges! It still feels like a real treat to sit and watch and snuggle.” —Lisa D., married six years
6. Make time together a “chore.”
“When schedules get busy and we are coming home and eating at different times, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of launching into tasks. These bills need to get paid, this mail needs to get sorted, these dishes need to be washed. We try to make sure that some together time is also on the agenda.” —Naomi N., married six months
7. Make pillow talk more meaningful.
“At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for. We also sleep holding hands.” —Echo G., married 35 years
8. Tuck each other in.
“We usually go to bed at the same time, but on the nights we don't, the person staying up always tucks the other in. It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. It helps us connect—especially when we’re both swamped with work. —Kelli B., married one year
9. Schedule a regular night out.
“I never really understood the concept of having regular "date nights" after marriage, but now I totally get it! Going out really encourages conversation and forces you to relax and just spend time together in a way you don't when you're sitting around at home. I love having dinner at home with my husband, but there's a huge difference between eating and then quickly getting up to do the dishes and clean up as compared to just enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant. I think doing fun things together is a great way to keep your marriage enjoyable and healthy.” —Zara H., married one year

7 Ways to Make Sex Even Better

Strengthen your relationship with these bedroom bonding tips

It's no myth that sex, whether kinky or romantic, is a powerful way to increase intimacy with your partner.
Even science says so. During sex, your brain floods your body with hormones and neurochemicals, especially oxytocin, which is best known as the "love hormone"—and with good reason. Oxytocin decreases feelings of stress and dramatically increases feelings of trust, security, bonding, and love, says California-based couples therapist Mary Kay Cocharo, L.M.F.T.
Skin to skin touching triggers the release of these hormones, making stripping down with your partner one of the quickest and easiest ways to deepen your relationship. Want to take things a step further? Here are seven simple—and sexy—things that will make your next romp more intimate.
Be vocal.
Keeping quiet during sex means you’re missing out on an opportunity to build your bond with your partner. Tell them what feels good and what doesn't—and vocalize the pleasure you're experiencing, Cocharo says. “Whether it's through words or moans and groans, you want to show that you're in the present moment with each other.”
Breathe deeply.
Breathing deeply communicates pleasure and doing so in tandem with your partner can help heighten arousal, Cocharo explains. “In tantric sex, we teach people to breathe together to create more connection and more eroticism.”
Unplug.
Avoid distractions at all costs. Make sure the television is off and your phone is silent—your texts and voicemails can wait. During sex, you and your partner should be solely focused on each other, says Cocharo. If you're not, you're missing out on an opportunity to bond, or even worse, you risk offending your partner.
Remove pets from the bedroom.
A lot of people sleep with their pets in their bed, but it can be a major buzzkill to have your dog or cat staring at you while you have sex. Not to mention, really awkward.
“If you're trying to look into your partner's eyes and you glance over, and your dog's looking into your eyes, it kind of breaks the mood,” Cocharo points out.
Snuggle with your pets later.
Make your bedroom a work-free zone.
You sleep in your bedroom, and you have sex in your bedroom. It's not, however, a place to do work, pay bills, or talk on the phone, says Cocharo. She suggests removing computers and charging your cellphone overnight somewhere else. They will only distract you from paying attention to your partner.
Open your eyes.
Try focusing on making eye contact next time you're in bed. “There is neuroscience that shows that when two people gaze into each other's eyes, at a close distance—say 18 or 20 inches—that the reactive part of the brain, the limbic brain, calms and allows people to experience a deeper connection,” Cocharo explains.
Just be conscious about breaking that stare if it starts to feel awkward. You don't want to kill the vibe by bordering on creepy.
Plan a romantic evening.
Let's put it like this: Not every meal needs to be a five-course dinner. A quick burger can really hit the spot sometimes, but too much fast food is never a good thing, either.
During sex, not every romp needs to be quick and intense, sometimes you need to slow down and savor the intimate moments, too. That takes time and requires some planning on your part, Cocharo says. So make sure you carve out time for foreplay and set the mood—she'll notice the effort.

Sex And Sleep Will Make You Happier Than Money Ever Could

A new study has found that making more money has very little effect on overall happiness

Ever think that you'd be so much happier if you were the guy driving down the street in a car that costs as much as someone's house? Turns out, if you're getting quality Zs and have a happy sex life, you're the one winning, man. A new study has found the top indicators of happiness, and money doesn't even hit the top five.
The study conducted by researchers from Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research in Great Britain, asked 8,250 people of varying backgrounds to fill out a 60-question survey to determine what it means to "live well." The questions covered everything — from the state of an individual's sleep quality, finances, and job security to their relationships with friends, family and their community. And the results? They weren't what you'd expect.
The result was the creation of the Sainsbury’s Living Well Index, which generated a list of the top factors that separated the happiest 20 percent from everyone else. In order of biggest influence, sleep quality, sex life, job security, health of close relatives and chatting to neighbors were the top five factors that determined who was actually living well.
Some of these results should come as little surprise, since we already know how a bad sleep schedule affects your health, but the fact that money doesn't rank at the top of the list might. In fact, according to Metro, researchers found that those who had good sleep and a sex life they were satisfied with (no, that doesn't mean loads of sex; although tantra might help) had higher "living well" scores than those people with a high income.
The study found that income had very little impact on a person's perception of well-being. In fact, a 50 percent increase in disposable income only led to a miniscule increase in a person's "living well" score.
That's not to say we should all just quit our jobs to have sex and sleep all day. Being unemployed, suffering from problems with physical and mental health, and lacking a strong support network were the top three factors that separated those who were struggling from feeling like they were living well. So while income may not be important, job security certainly is.
So what does that mean for you? Granted, this research was done on people living in Great Britain, but the country bears many similarities to ours. Bottom line, if you want to be happier, it's time to buddy up with that bed in more ways than one and give those relationships in your life some much-needed attention.
If sleep is your problem, check out these 5 strategies to get some quality z's. If it's your sex life, here are the most common sex problems couples run into— and how to solve them. And if it's your job, don't worry: You can still land the career of your dreams.

Meet the Sex Witch Who Wants to Use Magic to Enhance Your Orgasm

The former exotic dancer wants to help you find a deeper, sexual connection

They say that the bedroom is where the magic happens, but one woman named Shaney Marie is trying to bring literal meaning to that old saying by using spells and other pagan rituals to unlock a better sexual experience, the Mirror reports. After working as an exotic dancer for years, Marie is now exploring the art of witchcraft and its applications in our sex lives. The Melbourne, Australia, "priestess" serves as a sexual guru to a wide range of clientele who are apparently seeking greater fulfillment and better orgasms in their intimate lives.
Marie, who identifies as not only pansexual but also eco-sexual, made the professional pivot due to feelings of disillusionment she experienced while working in a strip club.
"Modern strip clubs are a power play," she told the Mirror. "Men objectify women, but women objectify them with their wallets. It is no longer a place of love and there is not a lot of respect on either side of the sexes. I decided to return to the older roots and bring on an awakening."
By bringing us back to a more natural, intimate approach, Marie hopes to reconnect us with our more erotic selves. How, exactly, will she nurture those identities, though? Erotic dancing, sex toys, crystals, and prayers at "love-altars.""Sex witchery involves using ancient pagan ways of being to unlock greater pleasure pathways," she explained. "Spell crafting can involve boosting pleasure. It is is one of the most powerful forces you can experience."
Though she's only offering her services in Australia at the moment, Marie reportedly plans to visit Amsterdam, London, Berlin, and Ireland in the near future. However, if you're geographically locked-out from meeting her in person, she apparently also offers Skype consultations, as well. If you take Marie at her word, it sounds like you'll start believing in magic in no time.

10 New Places to Have Sex

Ditch the bedroom and try something a little more exotic

If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America, the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the best places to fool around.
On the Washer
Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.
In the Vault
To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.
At Victoria's Secret
The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to make sure you like what your girlfriend is trying on.
In a Beanbag Chair
You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways you're not accustomed to. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).
During Christmas at the In-Laws
Bring the kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.
A '57 Chevy
That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.
A Large Swiss Ball
The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.
A National Park
If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.
The Elevator
Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.
The Garage
At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more beer, then slip out the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20 minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone coming.

4 Places You Shouldn’t Touch During Sex

Unless you want it to stop, that is

Great sex is all about spontaneity and exploration—assuming, of course, you have her consent—but there are a few parts of her body you shouldn’t touch willy-nilly.
Here are four such spots you’re better off avoiding.
Her Cervix
If you reach her cervix during sex, recognize that something is wrong. Remember, this is the narrow canal that connects the vagina to the uterus—where babies grow. That isn’t a place you want to go, so don’t knock on the door.
For starters, it’s painful for her to have something rammed against her cervix, and it could be a sign that you need to shift for a position with shallower penetration.But it could also mean that she isn’t warmed up enough. Her uterus will actually “lift” upwards when she’s sexually aroused, making her vaginal cavity a few inches deeper than when she isn’t turned on.
So don’t skimp on foreplay, and don’t service her cervix.
The Head Of Her Clitoris
This might seem counterintuitive, but the clitoris—which is full of super sensitive nerve endings—can sometimes feel too intense when it’s stimulated directly. Touching the clitoris head-on, especially if she’s really aroused, can feel too severe.Think about that feeling when you gulp an ice-cold beverage and your teeth start to tingle—it’s just not pleasant. Instead, try going for the shaft of her clitoris or rubbing circles around it, which will engage the nerve endings without overstimulating her.
We won’t tell you to never touch her there, but it’s worth checking in with your partner to see if she has a sensitive C-spot.
Her Feet
Especially if she’s sporting socks. A study from Johns Hopkins University showed that wearing socks in the sack can increase orgasm potential, for both men and women.
One potential reason: In order to orgasm, women need to be totally relaxed and anxiety-free, and cold feet can interfere with their ability to really get into sex.
Though we usually recommend knocking her socks off, leave them on this time.
Her Anus
Unless you’re all lubed-up, that is. Anal play can take plenty of warming up, but even when she’s totally aroused and ready to get it on, nothing should go in there without a generous helping of lubricant. The anal opening is small enough that even a finger can feel uncomfortable.While you’ve got the KY bottle handy, you should probably go ahead and use it for all other acts. A study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women rate their sexual satisfaction much higher when lube is involved.

7 Places She Wants You to Kiss—Besides Her Lips

There’s a lot more to explore than just her mouth

Her luscious lips are hard to resist, but she can tire of make-out sessions.
“Women like kissing because it is an emotionally intimate act,” says Jill Weber, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy.
So if you want to get closer as a couple, get out of the habit of attacking her mouth and lay romantic lip caresses on her most sensitive areas. 
NAPE OF THE NECK
You know she likes you to start at her neck—there’s a certain vulnerability that drives her wild.
“Lift her hair if it’s long and kiss and gently nibble the area from the hairline right down to the collar bone. It’s sure to produce goose bumps every time,” says Jennifer Landa, M.D., and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
SMALL OF THE BACK
“This is where all the nerves for the genitals originate, so stimulation of the lower back with massage and kissing and nibbling is a great way to stimulate the area,” says Dr. Landa.It’s also why she loves it when you place your hand on the small of her back when you’re out together—it’s an intimate, sexy gesture that makes a woman feel hot without it seeming out of the ordinary, she says.
FOREHEAD
You may not find a sweeter spot for her emotions than here. “What woman doesn’t want to get a loving kiss from a man who loves her brain? It’s a huge self-confidence builder, a soother, and a make-her-legs-weak, strong-man move,” says Walsh.
It might not be the thing to do in the bedroom—you’ll want to focus on other areas at that point—but she’ll appreciate when you pull her close and plant one on her head after a long day at work.
FINGERS
Fingertips have a huge concentration of nerve endings, making them sensitive to anything from little pecks to a long suck.
“When you suck and lick her fingers, she gets an idea of your oral skills and pictures what it might be like when you lick and suck her more intimate areas,” says Dr. Landa.
NIPPLES
“Sucking on her nipples releases the hormone oxytocin, called ‘the love hormone,’ because it makes people feel more bonded,” says Landa. “The nipples seem to have a hotline to the genitals, and for some women nipple stimulation will send an impulse right to her clitoris.”
Don’t forget you can score points by showing some love to the rest of her breast, too. Know these five facts about her breasts as well.
EARS
Her ears may be quite sensitive to light licking and sucking because of all the supersensitive nerve endings there. “Most women are quite sensitive to auditory stimulation,” says Landa. “So while you suck her ear be sure to use the opportunity to whisper something about how attracted you are to her and what you’d like to do to her after you finish nibbling her lobes.”
You can also try pursing your lips and blowing cool air to counteract the hot breath from your whispers.
CLITORIS
Once you land here, you’ve reached the point of no return. “There are over 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone, compared to a man’s mere 4,000 in the penis,” says Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

8 Tricks to Make Your Orgasm Even BETTER

Kick your pleasure into overdrive with a few small tweaks 

If you learned a killer new workout that made your body feel incredible, you’d likely share it with your friends. But when it comes to sex, men aren’t as likely to trade tips. And that’s a shame.
So we’ll get the sharing party started: After chatting with sexologists and pouring over the latest, hottest research, we found these eight ways to take your orgasm to the next level.
1. Touch your taint.
If you haven’t already been introduced, meet your taint—or your perineum, if we’re getting technical. It’s the stretch of skin between your balls and your butt, and it’s a one-way ticket to Pleasuretown.
“This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Some guys say that by applying pressure to this area, they’re able to have multiple orgasms—which is probably because you can stimulate your prostate gland externally via your perineum.
During intercourse or oral sex, ask your partner to place a finger here and press onto it until the pressure feels just right.
2. Do kegels.
Take a tip out of her sex playbook.
“You know how women do kegel exercises and say it strengthens their vaginal orgasm? Men can do the same,” says Alex Robboy, CAS, MSW, a sex therapist in Philadelphia.
Essentially, kegel exercises are a way of contracting the muscles of the pelvic floor, which give you greater control and intensity during sex. Try lifting your penis up and down with your muscles, or even try to “write the alphabet with the tip of your penis,” suggests Robboy.
3. Hold back.
Delayed gratification can be hard to master, but when it comes to your orgasm, it’s well worth it.
A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research advocated “edging,” or the practice of purposefully delaying orgasm for a more intense climax. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful.
It’s an easy way to amp up your game: Bring yourself to the “edge” of your orgasm, slow down, pause, and then start back up again. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go.
4. Find your G-spot.
It turns out that men have an equivalent to the G-spot: the prostate. You can stimulate it externally by applying pressure to your perineum, but if you’re interested in maximizing pleasure—and you're feeling a little adventurous—you’ll have to do a little anal probing.
Have your partner lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. You’ll know the spot when you feel it: it’s a small, chestnut-sized lump that feels super sensitive. Once you get there, apply some pressure and light thrusting.
5. Boost your testosterone.
The manly hormone that helps you orgasm is the same one that your body produces when you root for your favorite sports team, lift weights at the gym, or watch Game of Thrones.
Research from Athens’ Military Hospital in Greece found that when you have more T in your bloodstream, you’re more likely to orgasm—and do it big. Before your next romp, try some testosterone-boosting activities like going for a run.
6. Stroke your sack.
Just before you ejaculate, your testicles rise up near your body to give more power to your ejaculation.
“If you press gently upward on the testicles just before ejaculation, it’s likely to be very arousing,” says Goldman.
Ask your partner to place the palm of her hand upward on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body. It’ll heighten your arousal and increase the intensity of your orgasm.
7. Focus on the physical.
Sometimes during sex, you’ll get lost in your head—thinking about how hot your partner is, pondering the best porn you’ve ever watched, or even thinking about what’s for dinner. For a better orgasm, return to your body.
Think about it like this: If you’re running, you’ll get a completely different workout if you’re letting your mind wander than if you’re completely concentrating on your form.
“Focus on the physical sensation,” recommends Robboy, and you’ll feel your body responding differently.
8. Just breathe.
“This comes from tantric sex, where you’re supposed to move the stroke with your breath,” says Goldman.
Zero in on your breath, and try to slow it down until it’s in tune with your thrusts.When you’re just about to come, you’ll notice your breathing naturally start to speed up—but keeping it slower will improve the amount of oxygen and blood flow that reaches your genitals, making your climax even stronger. 

How What You Say on a Date Makes You More Attractive

Intelligence and a good sense of humor can go a long way

When you’re getting ready for a date, you want to look perfect. The inner monologue doesn't stop running through your appearance: Is this shirt wrinkled? Is there anything in my teeth? The list goes on and on. It turns out, your looks aren't necessarily what make you the most attractive to the woman sitting across from you.
Recently, the dating app Plenty of Fish released the findings of Conversation Nation, the largest survey on the topic. More than 2,000 single participants whose ages ranged from 18 to 70 (Up to 70? Did sexagenarians really need to be included here?), and nine out of 10 people believed that a successful date hinged on good conversation.
The top reason conversation makes someone better looking? It’s way easier to be attracted to someone when you aren’t sitting in awkward silence or arguing about politics. Plus it gives you a chance to showcase three attributes women look for when choosing an ideal mate: intelligence, a sexy voice, and a good sense of humor.
Understandably, you’re less likely to find someone attractive if a conversation was completely awful. If you and your date have nothing in common, if they come across rude, or if they don’t share your same values, it’s definitely a turnoff, according to 85 percent of participants.
When it comes to planning a date, you can’t go wrong with suggesting drinks at a local bar or restaurant. And if everything is going well, don’t ruin it by doing something like checking your phone constantly, talking about your ex, or even going outside to take smoke breaks. The survey shows that these actions—especially ignoring your date in favor of texting your buddies—are seen as disruptive and distracting.
If the date went well, call your date to let them know you enjoyed it. More than 80 percent of singles surveyed agree that a phone call constitutes a conversation, and it’s another opportunity to impress them with your communication skills.

11 Fitness Myths That Are Totally False

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the conflicting health and fitness advice out there. One day low-fat diets are in; the next day we learn that healthy fats can help you lose weight. I’ve seen fitness equipment come in and out of “style” faster than you can say “shake weight!” (Remember those??)

We’re constantly being told contradictory pieces of advice on what to eat, how to workout, and what to do each day to stay healthy. In my 25 years in the fitness industry, I’ve seen plenty of trends come and go, from fad diets to wacky workout techniques and everything in between. I know what works long-term, and what doesn’t. Here are 11 commonly-spread fitness myths that are totally false. Feel free to let these myths go the way of Snackwells and Fat-Jiggling machines and leave them behind!
1. Working out on an empty stomach helps you lose weight
If you prefer waking up and getting a quick workout in without eating anything, it won’t necessarily hurt you. But working out on an empty stomach doesn’t exactly help you burn more fat. Why? When you exercise, your body uses energy from two places: fat and glycogen stores. When you exercise in a fasted state, you go into your workout with depleted glycogen levels, which causes your body to not only burn fat but also start to break down muscle tissue and convert it to carbohydrate for energy. This means you’re losing muscle, which is not good. Your metabolism actually slows down to conserve energy in this state, telling your body to store more fat at your next meal. If you want your metabolism to work well all day long without losing muscle, eat a little something before workouts longer than 30 minutes. A banana or smoothie are great options.
2. Lifting heavy weights makes you bulk up
So many women tell me they’re afraid to use heavy weights because they don’t want to “bulk up.” Not to be cheeky, but you’re probably not going to achieve bodybuilder status unless you’re consuming massive amounts of protein; most women simply do not have the type of testosterone to create that huge, muscle-bound look. Heavy weights are GOOD! They help you put on lean muscle, which isn’t bulky, it’s actually what contributes to the “toned” appearance most of us are after. Plus, the more muscle you have, the more fat you’ll burn throughout the day because muscle is the key to a boosting your metabolism. Doing more repetitions with lighter weights is still good—but for muscle endurance. Doing fewer repetitions with heavier weights is how you achieve muscle strength, which helps you not only do more but also contributes to a lean, toned appearance. In other words, lifting heavy will just make you stronger—not bigger.
3. You need a low-carb diet to lose weight
Contrary to popular belief, carbs are not necessarily your enemy when trying to lose weight or eat healthy. There are complex carbs, like vegetables, fruit, legumes, and whole grains—these are generally considered healthy. And then there are “simple” or “refined” carbs, which include white pasta, white bread, pastries, sugar-sweetened beverages, and more. Simple carbs often have added sugars and can trigger blood sugar spikes. Complex carbs usually contain fiber and other nutrients that don’t cause the same spikes and dips. Complex carbs can absolutely be part of a healthy diet: just avoid those simple carbs whenever possible, like white pasta, white bread, etc. But quinoa, veggies, beans, brown rice, whole grain bread, and more can all be part of a balanced diet.
4. Muscle weighs more than fat
I hear this one a lot, but simply put: a pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same. The only difference is how they appear. A pound of muscle looks lean and dense; a pound of fat is airy like cotton candy and takes up more space. In fact, a pound of lean muscle takes up about 20% less space than a pound of fat. This is why if you’ve started working out and strength training, you might notice you look smaller and your clothes fit better, but the number on the scale isn’t decreasing that dramatically. Don’t panic! You’re still successful!
5. Crunches are the key to flat abs
If you hate doing crunches, don’t fret—they’re not the only step in getting a lean tummy. First, you need to lose any excess weight that’s covering up your abs. (Simply put: you can’t see your six pack if it’s buried beneath extra fat.) Since you can’t spot-reduce body fat, this means losing weight all over. Second, you need to tone that area using a variety of abdominal exercises that target different core muscles. You can target the abs with crunches or crunch variations (I like froggy crunches or bird dog crunches if traditional crunches bug you); target the obliques with oblique burners or side plank scoops; and focus on the transverse abdominus with moves like the Pilates 100. Getting “flat abs” is actually about losing extra body fat and strengthening and toning the entire core—not just mindlessly repeating one exercise.
6. Squats will make your butt big
Squats are one of the best bodyweight exercises around; they work your glutes and legs and can be done anytime, anywhere. But contrary to popular belief, they won’t make your butt look huge! Squats alone are not going to make your butt appear “bulky;” it’s likely your diet choices or a sedentary lifestyle that contributes to anything appearing larger than you want it to.
7. You need at least 30 minutes to get a solid workout
I see this myth prevent a lot of people from getting their workout in for the day. Many people think that if they don’t have 30-60 minutes to work out, they don’t have enough time to burn calories, build muscles, or see results—so they skip a workout altogether. Here’s what I have to say to that: a quick workout is always better than no workout! Living a healthy, active life is about incorporating movement into your day whenever possible. If you’re working at a moderate to high intensity you can burn roughly 100 calories every 10 minutes. 10 minutes is enough to burn fat, build muscle, and give your metabolism a boost that helps you throughout the rest of your day.
8. You have to train in the morning
I am a proponent of morning workouts because I think it feels good to get them done first thing—BUT, that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit! A calorie burned at 6 am is the same as a calorie burned at 6pm. Find out what workout time is best for you and your busy schedule, and know that it doesn’t always have to be the same. Some days you may be able to wake up a little earlier and get your workout done, and other days you may want to do it after work to unwind. Do what’s best for you, your body, and your schedule.
9. Heated workouts help you burn more fat
I’ve heard people claim that “you have to sweat to burn fat.” NOT true! Yes, you’ll sweat more in a hot yoga class because it’s also humid, and the sweat isn’t evaporating off your body. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re burning more fat. If it was cold and dry, more of your sweat would be evaporating off your body. More importantly, some people just naturally sweat more than others. Measure your workout intensity in other ways; by your ability to carry on a conversation (if you’re working at a moderate to high intensity, most people can only say a few words at a time,) how heavy you’re breathing, and how hard your heart is working. People can sweat more or less depending on so many factors—it’s not the best way to gauge how hard you’re actually working.
10. Long and slow is the way to burn more calories
There’s a lot of confusion about the “fat burning zone.” People claim that slow, steady-state cardio gets you into the fat burning zone and helps you burn more fat. Here’s the thing: yes, your body does use more fat as fuel during lower intensity exercise, but you are also burning calories at a slower rate. You’d have to be doing that steady state cardio for a long time to burn as many calories as you would during a shorter, higher intensity workout. You need to pump up the intensity if you want to bur more calories and fat. Mix up your weekly routine with steady state cardio and high intensity interval training.
11. Pregnant women shouldn’t work out
Not only is it usually considered safe to exercise while pregnant, it’s beneficial to you and your baby. Complications and specific circumstances aside, doctors recommend that pregnant women get 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise most days of the week. It’s been shown to help keep you and your baby healthier; you lower your risk of gestational diabetes, heart issues, and pre-natal depression, and your baby has a lower risk of high blood pressure and a healthier heart, even as an adult. It’s also been shown that women who exercise during pregnancy reported shorter, less complicated deliveries. Sold!